By: Shanna Hovley
I really love writing conferences. The people, lessons, and energy are wonderful, and one year, I received some delightfully vague feedback on a piece of my writing. “It’s too long.” At the time, the feedback frustrated me, but now that I can look back with a bit more experience, I understand what they actually meant. Even if it was vague at the time. A lot of writers get this feedback, despite keeping to expected word counts.
John Milton wrote the poem Paradise Lost in 1667 and is considered one of the greatest authors of his time. Even with that renown, after reading Paradise Lost, Samuel Johnson reviewed it by saying, “Paradise Lost is one of the books which the reader admires and lays down, and forgets to take up again. None ever wished it longer than it is.”
“None ever wished it longer than it is.”
In our modern world, our attention spans are only getting shorter. Readers are pickier, and it’s harder to keep them focused. Larry McEnerney (University of Chicago) has an excellent lecture called The Craft of Writing Effectively (I highly recommend you watch at least the first few minutes). He addresses one important lack of awareness that many of us have with our own writing. Throughout most of our schooling, teachers are paid to read our writing. They read it because that’s their job, so we aren’t taught to make it compelling to read or impossible to put down. We are taught to write to prove information we’ve learned from a class.
So, how do we make our readers stick to our books? By trimming the words to the essentials. That feedback from the writing conference actually made a big impact on me. They didn’t mean my writing was literally too long, but they did mean it was boring, confusing, and dragged.
I learned an expression that has stuck with me through my editing career. “Buried in the mundane.”
Our books get choked with mundane details, burying good writing under bloated fat. As a writer, you might think your words are all essential, but your readers may start to skim. They may even put down the book, not knowing why they should pick it back up. How do we tighten up our writing to make it gripping?
What Should We Cut?
Zombie Nouns
Helen Sword first coined the phrase “zombie nouns” in 2012 in a New York Times article. Zombie nouns are weak nouns that can make your writing more passive. She called them this because they “lumber across the scene without a conscious agent directing their motion.” They include suffixes such as -ance, -ation, or -ing. For example, instead of “I made an observation of the evidence,” Compare this to the more active, “I observed the evidence.” Think of it like trapping a verb inside a box.
She also warned about passive voice in your writing. Passive writing is often more long winded. “The milk was bought by Paul.” (6 words) Paul bought milk. (3 words) Do a search in your document for words like “was,” “were,” “as,” “am,” etc. Make a decision with each case. Sometimes passive phrasing is necessary, but it will make your writing stronger if you remove it whenever possible.
Weak Language, Cliches, and Confusing Phrases
Another way we bog down our writing is through cliches or ambiguous language. If the reader has seen it before, and has heard it a dozen times, they are more likely to skim. If they are confused, they might put the book down. Look through each paragraph with an eye for cliches and tired phrases. Remove anything not clear that might confuse your reader. If possible, have a friend or someone you trust read through and point out anything confusing you might have missed.
Overexplaining
Don’t use four words when one will do. If I’m telling you how I got to the store, I shouldn’t say, “I climbed into the car, put on my seatbelt, started the engine, and drove through seven streetlights before parking in the parking lot.” I should say, “I drove to the store.” Brevity is the soul of wit,” William Shakespeare.
Remove unnecessary characters or scenes
This one is painful. In fiction writing, we often fall in love with parts of our writing. There can be a character we love or a scene we are attached to, but we also need to be critical of what we include. If the character isn’t pulling their weight, they are dragging everything else down. See if other characters can take part of their scenes or if they are needed at all. If they are, make sure they are still tailored carefully so they don’t bog down the rest of your cast. Do the same with your scenes. If possible, have your scenes have more than one goal.
In both writing and editing, we have to work hard to make sure only the best of our work is on display. So cut the fat and leave your writing lean. It will be better for it. And, if you need additional help, editors are a great resource.
“It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.” Friedrich Nietzshe